This is splorp.

ISSN 1496-3221

November 28, 2000

Untitled

The phone rings this afternoon. I can tell from the call display that it’s an outside line ringing through from the employee directory. A rule of thumb in this situation generally dictates that the caller is one of two types of people. It’s either a relative of mine who has forgotten my extension number, or a salesman. Today, it was what was behind door number two.Half a dozen months ago, I received a call from a courtesy-impaired, east-coast accented jerk representing a dot com investment firm or a smarmy financial planning outfit or some other sort of organization that apparently didn’t impress me to the point of remembering what it was. Maybe he was just representing his own self-inflated ego. Who knows. At the time I was able to brush him off, but I was coerced into agreeing to have him contact me again in a few months — theoretically when I had more time to discuss the topic at hand. Usually, when I say “call me back in several months” most reasonable people will forget about the entire conversation and never follow up on it. Not this time.Getting back to this afternoon’s incident, I am trying to finish a couple of page designs up before heading home and this joker starts in on his spiel about having “his situation back together”, “imminent massive returns” for existing clients, and so on. My bullshit deflectors go up and I make a valiant, yet underpowered attempt at stopping the flow of crap from this human manure spreader. Sensing my resistance, he goes on asking why I don’t want to make money with his company? What was my percent return on my own obviously mismanaged investments last year? What’s wrong with me anyhow? When I do manage to cut in long enough to utter something to the effect of “Hey you jerk, you talk too fast…”, he immediately rebuts with a carefully poised comeback that has been honed to perfection through the course of hundreds of similar calls. “Oh, you’re a slow mover. See ya.” Click.Why is it that jackasses seem to thrive on this planet? Why?

This item was posted by Grant Hutchinson.

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